Have you ever had your heart ripped out of your chest? No, I am not talking about a romantic relationship, more a platonic one. I am talking about friendship breakups. 

In my experience, friendship breakups are the worst. Imagine spending your whole time with your best friend, the one person that has been by your side through thick and thin, the person you love and trust the most in the whole world. You with me? Now, imagine this friendship to end, either in a heartbeat or slowly over time. 

Can you feel the emptiness that stays? I feel it too. You are not alone. Friendships come and go but there are some that you think will last forever until something proves you wrong. 

Since I am going through something like that I put together my best ways to cope with the pain, emptiness and sadness. 

Acknowledge the Pain

It is okay to feel completely lost, it is okay to feel in so much pain that you find it hard to breathe. They were your support system after all. You experienced a loss and it is normal to grieve it. It’s okay. When we lose someone we bury them, so why not symbolically do the same? 

Take all the pictures and the things that remind you of them and put them in a box, write a letter to them explaining all the feelings that came afloat. You can decide to either burn it or put it in the box. You can do whatever you want with that little grave, either throw it away, keep it under your bed and take it out when you feel like you have to grieve in front of something. 

Do Something that Makes You Feel Better 

That might be eating an entire box of chocolate, putting on a face mask, running a bath, dancing and the list goes on. While you do the activity you choose remember to say some affirmations. My favourite ones are: “I am good enough by myself”, “I am worthy of love and friendship”, “I am a caring person”. 

Affirmations really boost your self-confidence over time, say one affirmation every day for a couple of months and you will start feeling the difference. You got this. Even though it feels like the end of your world, there are so many amazing things you can give to new people and so many things you will receive. 

Journal 

Do you know when you get some really good news and the first thing you want to do is tell your best friend? I know how much it hurts knowing that the person who always knows everything first is no longer there to celebrate with you. 

Pick a journal that makes you smile, with a cute cover, and turn it into your best friend. You will see the help that it is. I know it is not the same, but that will become your safe space, the one thing you can confide in. Pages might not talk back but you will see that many times the answers reside within you. Writing helps you do that. 

Set Your Boundaries 

If the friendship did not work out there must have been something that triggered the end, try to identify what that thing is. Once you have found it you will feel a lot lighter. It is true that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. 

Take the ending of your friendship as the beginning of new healthier ones, where you know exactly what you are looking for and what you are able to give in return. 

Knowing what you like in a friend and what friendship means to you is very important. To me a friend is someone who is there for me every time I need them, that can be during a hard time or when I feel like celebrating life. Most of all, a friend is someone that inspires me and shows me how wonderful life is. These are mine but maybe they give you the prompt to figure out what is your definition of friendship. 

Time to Meet New People 

When you are ready it is time to meet new people, see new faces. Our network helps you do that. We are in so many cities and all you have to do is pop a message on the Facebook group and you will see how many people are excited to meet you and become your friend. 

I know it can hurt initially, it is pretty normal. It might even feel like you are betraying your former best friend, but my love, you deserve to move on. 

Meeting new people can be scary, but fear not, all you have to do is simply be yourself, share what are your interests and set your boundaries. You will find a new support system in a heartbeat. 

I know you are in pain right now, but things will get better and I promise you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. 

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Written by Cloe Grampa 

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