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How To Have a Healthy Relationship With Social Media

There’s no denying that most of us have been guilty of spending a teeny weeny bit more time online since the first lockdown. Maybe more time than we’d like to admit. 

Unsplash: Sharon McCutcheon

Research by Ofcom found that in April 2020, UK internet users were spending an average of 4 hours and 2 minutes online every day. This is 37 minutes more each day per online adult compared with January 2020, making it a record-breaking figure. 

The gaps in between all the emailing, messaging and Zoom-quizzing are filled with the aimless scrolling, liking, tweeting and sharing. 

Of course, it is important to acknowledge that social media apps can provide us with a lot of comfort; they give us a sense of connection, as well as keep us up to date with current news. 

Many an hour I’ve spent sucked into my “For You” page on TikTok, belly laughing at some cats wearing wellies or a toddler blurting nonsense, before vigorously forwarding the video to all my friends. Or I’ve found myself down yet another rabbit hole on twitter, reading streams and streams of 280-character opinions on the latest trending topic.

Instagram usually supplies some solace to a stressful day with fetching aesthetics, and a quick digital ‘catch-up’ with friends by showing me what they’ve been up to via stories and posts.

Social media can do a lot of good for us. In many ways it’s very practical, and during corona-times especially, it’s been our safe-haven. 

Unsplash: Kate Torline

However, a study by the University of Pennsylvania found that a high usage of social media apps like these can actually increase rather than decrease feelings of loneliness. 

“Comparison is the fastest way to take all the fun out of life” - Jen Sincero: Writer, Speaker and Success Coach

Social media encourages social comparison. When we’re constantly presented with other people’s videos, photos and achievements, it’s difficult to avoid comparing your life with theirs. 

Excess online usage can also make us lose a sense of presence. Constantly absorbing online content, looking at the ‘best’ versions of people, getting pulled into twitter debates and simply being on screens all day can make us less connected with the real world.  

But for most, going cold-turkey with all social media is unrealistic and impractical. If social media aids your work and social life, keeps you in the know, and gives you a much needed giggle from time to time, then understandably, you may view it as a somewhat necessity.

So how can we work towards a healthier relationship with social media?

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Start with a Spring Clean
Our subconscious soaks up a lot throughout our day. If our social media feeds are swamped with negativity, or posts that for any reason bring down our mood, then we’re feeding our subconscious a stream of cynic-tainted vibes. In order to cleanse the feed and whittle your following down to #positivevibesonly, a social media declutter is absolutely necessary. 

Physically clicking ‘unfollow’ can feel a tad harsh, especially if it’s the account of someone who we know personally, possibly even a close friend. On most social media apps, there are options to ‘mute’ an account so that you remain a follower, but won’t see their posts (unless you specifically visit their page). 

I recommend swapping any toxic vibes for accounts devoted to sharing positivity, such as The Just Girl Project and Positive Affirmations

Digitally distance yourself

More time indoors has added an invisible pressure for 24/7 availability. When your phone is the last thing you look at before you go to sleep, and the first thing you look at when you wake up, the constant checking and refreshing becomes draining and disorientating.

Designating time in the day to turn off your phone (yes - completely off!) is a really effective way to reset, recharge, and feel more present. Alternatively, simply turning app notifications to ‘off’ can relieve that obligatory must-get-back-to-them-asap feeling. 

The world doesn’t stop turning when we don’t check our phones. Trust me, I’ve tried it. 

Unsplash: Karsten Winegeart

Keep yourself in the loop 

As mentioned, social media has its practical uses in terms of keeping us updated with friends, family and news. But there are ways to source this same information without the need of a feed. 

Rather than relying on twitter for the latest headlines (which often traps you in a pool of bias and anger), dedicate more time to watching or listening to the news instead. You’ll hear a much more balanced and researched story, and you can always take to twitter afterwards, when you’ve read the facts first. 

Not knowing your friends’ antics every second of the day really isn’t the be all and end all. Instead of depending on Facebook and Instagram to announce a new job, engagement or day out in the park, why not drop that friend a text, or even give them a ring? It’s a much closer replication of socialising in these disconnected times. 

Our apps and accounts bring a lot of joy, connection and knowledge into our lives, but don’t let them distract you from your inner self and the present moment. Your well-being should always prevail. 


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Written by Annabel Chadwick 

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