Picture the scene: you’ve met someone new; everything is going amazingly: you’re feeling smug as Dominic Cummings with a sneaky case of covid.

Until suddenly you discover the worst. This funny, sexy, intelligent person you’ve been dating has a secret. A secret, so shocking it will change everything... And that secret is that every Sunday afternoon, your ‘perfect’ date goes down the park; dresses up as their favourite Harry Potter character and plays ‘Quidditch’. Suddenly you’ve got the Ick. They are no longer funny or sexy, they’re just repulsive. Again, much like Dominic Cummings. 

The ‘Ick’ is described by Hayley Quinn in Cosmopolitan as, “a dating term that means you get a sudden cringe feeling when you have romantic contact with someone: and become almost immediately put off by them.” It is a term that has been floating around on Twitter a lot lately, with people discussing their Icks: from something as mundane as the following:

To something that is… Kind of fair enough.

My own personal experiences of the Ick have included a man who told me ‘I prefer the view from back here’ and stared at my arse instead of the stunning landscape in front of us; and another one who dumped me so he could play Pokemon Go. Ok, that wasn’t even Ick, it was just pure embarrassment.

So I asked the world if they have experienced the dreaded Ick… And 89.6% of those surveyed said yes. 

The main bulk of people’s Icks were completely harmless qualities, hobbies or even dietary requirements; ‘they clapped weirdly’; ‘they said I had nice back skin’; ‘they were gluten-free’.

From the survey, I discovered that many people were happy to put up with undesirable qualities from previous partners; from cheating; to differing morals; drink and drug problems; narcissism. Yet here they were dumping someone over their weird baby voice. So what are these Icks about?!

Superficial or just super weird?

Many of the Icks we experience could be considered ‘superficial’… Participants in the study have mentioned dates who ‘blinked too much’; some who had ‘pointy teeth’ and others who just looked like a child.

I did find myself wondering… Would I also dump someone for “Having toe-like fingers and fingernails”? But as they say, once you’ve got the Ick, it’s hard to go back.

Turned off… Forever

Other Icks from the survey included one participant whose sexual partner talked from his penis in the first person, i.e. the least sexy thing one can do; and another whose partner’s sweat dripped into their mouth during sex.

I also particularly enjoyed this Ick: “My ex-boyfriend [was] naked, wiggling around in my faux silk sheets declaring how soft they were, just was so suddenly icked by it”.

He just knows how to make me Ick

Many of the Icks we feel are seemingly random. Our romantic interest does something that most would consider normal behaviour and suddenly we are cringed out and turned off. 

My personal example of this is a funny message I recently received followed by a ‘:D’. My chuckle stopped dead in its tracks, and my face turned to stone, quicker than Dominic Cummings hurtling up the M1 towards Durham.

And in fact, many survey participants shared the view of being disgusted by emojis as well. Why is this? 

Of course, it isn’t any less weird than other Icks that have included, “Holding an umbrella” or “jumping up and down at a concert”... All incredibly normal, yet for some reason, Ick-worthy. “It sounds terrible but the way he runs” states another survey participant.

Another random Ick includes this particularly unique one: “I dated a guy who had a house full of grandfather clocks he obsessively bought and restored and they would all chime every hour. I honestly don't know why this icked me.” 

Just plain… Weird Vibes

Now I have felt Ick towards men whose bedrooms looked and smelled like a prison cell, but this one has got to be worse: “I once was sleeping with a guy who ate yoghurt and kept the pots in his room so it always smelled of old yoghurt.”

After reading through 135 different people’s Icks, from those who are male, female and non-binary, I have come to the conclusion we all have Icks. So next time you’re repulsed by your partner planting a vegetable patch, or de-jamming a printer, don’t feel bad: it’s all a part of life.

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Written by by Amber Middleton